I want to write something

I want to write something profound right now...

But all I can think about is my dad and his dad in the hospital.

I want to write something creative right now...

But all I can see are the insides of my eyes looking back at me, forlorn and uninspired.

I want to write something revealing right now...

But all I can hope is that my freshly massacred left shoulder will not soak my "The Old City" t-shirt in blood.

I want to write something exciting right now...

But all I can hear are the voices of those 3 beautiful ladies telling me of the progress in their lives, and reminding me of the stillness in mine.

I want to write something news-worthy right now...

But the required 5 "W"s and 1 "H" inquiries only report "wizard," "weather," "weeble," "witness," "welcome," and "hate." My logic and objectivity is muffled. 

I want to write something of an epiphany right now...

But I haven't had one and fear that I never will.

I want to write something about my love right now...

But I question whether I have any, referring to the lyrics of "Haunted" as evidence I may not.

I want to write something about my freedom right now...

But I question whether I have any, referring to the lyrics of "Ma Ilee 7uriya" as evidence I do not.

I want to write something about my Palestinians right now...

But I've sung that unsung hero's song and have no energy to sound another strong note.

I want to write something right now I can be proud of tomorrow...

But my pride has left me, and has scrubbed itself clean with a Brillo pad of self-doubt.

I want to write something my dad will applaud...

But all I can think about is my dad failing to sleep because he is thinking of his dad in the hospital.