In between

There is so much in between...
...in between moments: seconds of inspiration and desire; hope and action--when she is still discovering but has not yet realized.

This is when the bomb creator is in the mode of creation--when the beads of technology and perspiration are still forming and dripping. In between the initiation and the finale, she's wiping her brow with her forearm and thinking of her childhood and her demise.

She feels the pangs of love and despair, having experienced both but never to fruition or resolution. She has somehow always just been in between--never complete--although she has come close.

And she thinks of those almosts now, while she's mid-way through her process. Even the way she holds the tweezer, light tension--enough to push each prong toward its mate but not to a closed clip--is an almost. Yet, the tweezer is how it needs to be, and, as such, she grasps, places, and releases the thin particles that too are the in-betweens.

Perhaps, this is how she has kept her soul--she's never given it fully. And it prevented her from ever feeling enough to be angry or to love. She's survived this way. But was it really about survival? What good was it to her--to survive and thrive and be in between? She was stuck in the midst, for she was forced to begin and was clueless as to when she'd complete her circle.

Then, she coughed, and it ticked...tick, boom.

And as she looked around, and saw and sensed the dust settling around her to its final landing place, she was hit with a realization--she was again in between--in between, physical and spiritual. She snickered a smirk, half-silently suggesting that God had played a good one on her. But the snicker subsided and her face grew as long as her gaze--she knew this would be her end: in limbo.

And her gaze glossed, and she solemnly tapped one ghostly hand's finger pads on the other's finger nails, and she saw the tweezer standing on its prong tips amid the debris, covered in dust. And she remembered life, and the almosts it brought her--she preferred her new state: at least it was true to her; true to the in-between that she had felt had always been her destiny.

She had experienced an end, followed by a beginning, and found her place and her purpose in between.